I wonder if this is how it will be in Heaven. You don't seem to realize I'm missing or you do and you aren't sad about it. Maybe every time someone comes into Heaven you hope it's your mommy. I know you aren't scared and I know you aren't craving to see me like I am you, but maybe you are waiting for me. Maybe you are watching and waiting so patiently for your mommy to return. Maybe you ask the angels "is my mommy here yet?". I know you are enjoying your time without me and I know Heaven is exponentially better than anything here on Earth. I know you are having a blast with Jesus but I never really thought you could be waiting for me to come. I can't wait for our reunion. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to hold you. I can't wait to hear your laugh. I can't wait to kiss your cheeks. I can't wait see your pretty eyes. I just simply can't wait. I can't wait for Heaven. I can't wait to meet Jesus. I can't wait to see Him. I can't wait to feel happy all the time. I can't wait never to feel sad again. I can't wait for everything not to be marked with a hint (and sometimes WAY more than a hint) of sadness. I can't wait for our family to be back together. I miss you so much. It was so great to see you and I loved every second of that dream. I have been thinking about you all day. I'm so glad I got to see you. But, it still makes me sad to wake up. To go back to living without you. Will you come visit me again soon? I love you so much, Jovi, to Heaven and back.
"I close my eyes and I see your face.
If home's where your heart is then I'm out of place.
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow.
I've never been more homesick than now."