Friday, January 11, 2013

6 Months

Wow. Where has the time gone.... How have I not seen that precious face in six whole months?!

The day before your six month anniversary was rough. Someone on Facebook had basically written she did "everything" to prevent SIDS and her babies are all alive. I find I take a lot of offense to saying SIDS is prevantable. I know I've blogged on that before, but what she said was so rude and offensive. I read it the day before your six month, so it made that day so hard. I had a lot of tears streaming down my face at work.... It was just a sad day. I just miss you so very much then to hear some people think I could have prevented your death- it kills me. I would have done anything to keep you alive. I did do everything to keep you alive.

The six month actual day wasn't awful. Some people remembered which was so nice. Thank you to everyone who did and those of you who remember every month. It means so much.We were able to have an ultrasound on baby Lila. She is a healthy, perfect baby girl. It was so nice to have something fun on such a sad day. Daniel and I ended the day with PF Chang's. All in all, it wasn't awful. I'm sure I got all my grieving out the day before since it was a sucky day.

Jovi- I still can't believe time continues to move on without you. It feels like you were just here yesterday, but also feels like I have seen you in years. I miss you more than I coudl every say. You are always remembered. Always thought of... never forgotten. I continue to always think about how life would be if you were here. We all miss you so very much. You have left such an impact on all of us. We miss you so very much, baby girl. I love you to Heaven and back.

"I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming"
The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe

....I can't wait for Heaven and to sit with Jesus....


  1. Anyone who has lost a child to SIDS knows it isn't preventable. How ignorant of that woman. I pray that in time she will learn the mistake of that comment through research and others' experiences. I had people subtly imply things as well...the "are you sure...." comments. Our son passed while at daycare, so I will never know the circumstances, but from what I was told, everything was fine. The.most heart-wrenching part of SIDS is that there is no signs. So cruel. I'm glad that you continue to write and share your feelings. Good therapy, and you're able to keep your daughter's story alive. :)

  2. I am so sorry that someone wrote such insensitive words. I usually tell myself when someone does that that they are ignorant as well. I am glad that your baby Lila is doing well!!