Tuesday, June 9, 2015

And so we continue on...

Both my babies here on Earth has birthdays recently. Sweet Cash turning 6! And little Lila turning 2. Where has the time gone? I was sitting in church today dwelling on life and how things can so drastically change in a matter of minutes. 

Some changes are so welcomed. 

Some are so unwanted. 

But, in the midst of all the chaos and change and shitty-crappy events and wonderful, joyous events... We've continued on. 

In the midst of it all, we've continued to smile. 

We've continued to love each other. 

We've continued to try. 

We've continued to grieve. 

We've continued to find joy.

We've continued to laugh. 

We've continued to miss until our hearts feel like they can miss anymore and, then, the next day... We miss even more. 

We've continued to love Jesus. 

We've continued to stress. 

We've continued to cry. 

We've continued to live. 

I have moments where I feel like I've got nowhere. Days where I feel stuck in the midst of loss and immense grief and the heavy feeling of how my life has been really, really hard. And how can someone even say I'm strong because I feel the very opposite of that. I feel weak. And tired. And so done. 

But, then, I have days (and sudden realizations) of how I've come along. And how I've continued. How we've continued despite the ever-hard and sometimes seeming never-ending obstacles I have to jump. And how my life has never ended. I am sure I've said this all before but tonight it's hit me again hard. And I'm proud of myself. And my family. 

On a lighter note-

My life is still very good. I've done so many awesome things this month... I am thankful for kindergarten graduations and for going to well child checks. I will forever remember how incredible these moments are with my babies. And how I'll never wish for them to stop growing...

I can't wait to see where life takes us. Praying for an easier time. And as always, praying my babies below outlive me by decades. 

What in the world?! My boy is 6! And a first grader! This sweet little man saved me and was one of the very reasons I chose to get up every morning. I am so thankful for him. I love his grown up sayings and the young man he's growing into. Seriously? When did he grow up?! I love this little guy so much... Even if he says he hates me now sometimes... Or punches his sister. 

This little ball of fun is 2! She continues to bring my entire family more joy than ever imagined. She's a spit fire who has helped heal some scars and lessen the sting of many others. She continues to make us laugh. Her vocabulary grows every day even if most times it takes us a good 20 times to understand... I love this little lady.