While Thanksgiving is neary upon is, I've been trying to remind myself I still have things to be thankful for... yes, it's going to be a hard holiday. I seem to have harder days leading up to the holiday, then the day itself isn't actually as bad as I thought. I've always tried to remind myself that I still have a lot to be thankful for and realizing I will still have a good life. It will be entirely different than I had ever thought or what I had planned, but it will still be good. Even now, in the midst of losing our baby, we still have things to be thankful for... so here goes...
I am thankful for God. I'm more than thankful He sent His son for me. The sacrifice He made means more now than it ever has before. I'm thankful for eternal life. I'm thankful for Heaven and can't wait to see what it's like!!! I'm thankful we get to spend forever with Jesus. I'm thankful we get to spend forever with our loved ones. I'm thankful that this life we live is bigger than we could ever imagine. The things that happen to us will play out in a much bigger story than where we are the only characters... our lives and the way we live them is bigger than we can comprehend. We, often, forget. God's story didn't end when the Bible ended... it's still going. It's still being written. We are part of it now and someday we will get to see that big picture and suddenly everything that happened in our lives (good and bad) will be understood. I'm thankful we get to live a life of meaning and purpose. I'm just so thankful for my faith. I'm just so thankful for the unfailing love we get to receive.
I'm thankful for my family. I'm so blessed to have an amazing husband; he always works hard for our family. He loves me so much. He is the best dad I know. He encourages me... He gets me... I'm just so thankful to be spending my life with my best friend. I'm thankful for Cash. He's so fun. He's kept us going. He's made us get up and continue living life as normal as possible. He is so sweet. I'm thankful for Jovi. I'm so thankful for every moment I had with her. I'm so thankful for all of our memories. I'm thankful she never had to go through heartbreak or a terrible sickness... I am thankful for that. I'm thankful for my parents and my little brother. My dad was a huge help the day Jovi died. My mom (and dad) have been so great at being there and listening to all my possibilities on why Jovi died... and have been there when I'm feeling sad. They've made us countless dinners and kept us company when Daniel is working. I'm thankful for my in-laws. They are so supportive. I'm thankful my mom-in-law is able to watch Cash while I work. I'm thankful they always bring up Jovi and aren't afraid to speak her name. They always make me feel like she's important.
I'm thankful for friends. I'm thankful I have had some friends really step up and be so supportive. I'm so thankful for some new friends I've made in the last few months. I'm thankful to some who also listen and read my countless emails/texts on SIDS. I'm so thankful I have people to make me get out and even have fun and enjoy myself.
I'm thankful we have a warm roof over our head and always have food in our house.
Jovi baby- you will never, ever be forgotten or replaced. You will always be our daughter. You will always be a part of this family. You will forever have a place in my heart that will never be filled and will always be open and waiting for the day I finally get to come to Heaven and be with you. Our lives will forever be missing you until we are reunited. I miss you more than anything. I always think about you and what you'd be doing if you were here. I think about you a lot in the car and wish you were there... babbling in your carseat. I can't wait to hear your voice again. I love you so very much... to Heaven and back.