It still astounds me that time just continues to go by... and goes by so fast. Your 7 month birthday was celebrated in Heaven. You've now had 3 milestones in Heaven. We've gone your entire fourth, your entire fifth, and your entire sixth month without you. I can't for the life of me imagine what you'd be doing or what you'd even look like. I can't wait to get to Heaven and see your face. I sure hope and pray that I get to see you grow up. I know I say it all the time, but I hope more than anything you are a baby and I'll get to watch you grow even if it's so fast. I just want to see you grow. I can't believe life continues on. People forget and time moves on. We are doing our best to keep living, but we will never "move on" and we will never forget you. You will always be a part of our family. I will always and forever think of how life would be if you were here. It's been so interesting in this entire situation to see who has rised together with us. To see who understands that even though time has gone on that I still have moments where it seems impossible to keep going. That my heart still aches for you every single minute of everyday. That my first thought in the morning is you aren't here. There are those who don't remember or those who forget or just don't understand how entirely difficult this is. I can say I haven't been the best with death. I can say I haven't been there for those who have lost. But, if I've learned anything the last few months, I've learned how people want to be treated. So, thank you to all of you who still remember Jovi. Thank you to everyone who hasn't been afraid to be my friend or talk about Jovi. Thank you to everyone who hasn't forgotten. Your random texts or messages mean more to me than I could ever possibly say.
Jovi- I still miss you all day long. I still think of you all day every day. We went to the pumpkin patch and I couldn't help but cry when we got home. We will never get to take you to the pumpkin patch. The nevers are so hard. I feel so cheated. Another bereaved mom posted about how she feels like she prepared and did everything she could to pass a test and she failed. All those around her were cheating or didn't study and they passed. I can so relate. I think every day of the day I finally get to come to Heaven. I can't wait for you to lead me around Heaven. I can't wait for you to tell me all about Jesus and what you've been doing. I can't wait to enjoy Heaven with you. I miss you so, so, so very much. Life will never be the same. I love you to Heaven and back.
I am so sorry that the months keep passing and your heart keeps aching. I understand how it feels when things quiet down and people seem to move on. It is lonely and it is hard. Please know that I think about you often. I have told my family (husband, boys, parents, etc) about all the people I am "meeting" through the blogging world, and they know about you too. Jovi is in their hearts too.
All my love and support is pouring out to you, and me, and all the other mommas and daddies that got "cheated" the way we did.
Please feel free to email anytime. firstname.lastname@example.org