The Peds Floor

Oh Jovi. Your cousin was born today. I wanted to go see her. I braved the hospital not thinking it would be as hard as it was... It hit me like a ton of bricks when I walked onto the Peds floor. Of course, they were put her there. Of course, they were put in the room next to yours when you were born. Of course, they even had your nurse. I had no idea it'd be so hard. It wasn't hard seeing the baby. I am so happy for them. After losing sweet Aliyah, I'm so very happy for them. I am so happy they get to have life back in their house. But, the hospital was so hard. I walked right pass the room where you were admitted when you had your fever. All I can think of is this isn't fair. I should have my almost 7 month old baby. I shouldn't feel like I can't breathe when I walk on that floor. I should have you in my arms. I miss you more than I can say. I miss you every minute of everyday. I love you to Heaven and back.

Jovi was admitted for a fever at 5 weeks of age... I thought that was hard...