Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Far Away

Here we are... About to embark on another new year. I can't believe 2013 is over... I can't believe I survived an entire year where my baby wasn't here. I can't believe I'm going into another year that will be missing Jovi. 

2013 has been good to us. I've found more reasons to smile. I've remembered I'm blessed. I have an amazing husband, a wonderful little man and was blessed with a new little beauty. I have an extremely supportive family and awesome friends. It's been a year filled with laughs and smiles and more tears of joy than I ever thought possible. I've seen a baby get teeth. I've been able to buy a Christmas dress. I've taken a little to his first day of preschool. I've fed a baby solids. I've taken littles swimming. We've gone to waterparks. We taken vacations. I've seen one of my own babies turn 6 months. I've celebrated a little man's 4th birthday. An amazing work promotion for my great hubby. New friends. I've loved. I've been loved. It's been so good. Thanks for the good, 2013. I'm so, SO thankful. 

2013 has came with tears of sadness and low moments, too. My grandpa joined Jovi in Heaven. I went to a baby shower with a baby there whose name is Jovie. I've gone through Jovi's first birthday Joviless... And forced to relive the day she died. I've realized I'll never have a picture of all my babies that doesn't include a grave. I've relived the day we celebrated Jovi's life. I've been to the cemetery more than I'd ever like.... I've lost countless tears and spent countless hours thinking about my baby in Heaven. 

I never thought that'd I'd live through the last half of 2012, never thought it possible to make it through the entire 2013 without one smile from Jovi, and yet, here I am, about to ring in another year. I've made it so far...

 2014... I pray you are more healing than I could imagine. I pray you bring my family more laughs than tears and more joy than sadness. 

Jovi- you've made me want to be better. I will do my very best not to waste a minute here without you. 

"I love you 
I've loved you all along
And I miss you 
Been far away for far too long 
I keep dreaming 
You'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing 
If I don't see you anymore"
"Far Away" Nickelback

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