Tuesday, December 4, 2012

2012

2012 has been a year... I find myself saying how much I want the year to be over and how much I want 2013 to be a fresh start for our family. Obviously, this is the year Jovi died. A few weeks ago, my gpa had a stroke. Last week, my other gpa didn't get great news regarding his lung cancer and had to have some different procedures done. It was after the last gpa's news came in that I decided I very much disliked the year 2012. Recently, though, I've realized how can I hate this year? Yes, 2012 is when I lost my baby.... but 2012 is when I got my baby, too. Jovi was born this year. This year is the only time we had with Jovi. Jovi was only here in 2012. As I've realized this, it makes me want to hold onto this year for as long as possible. As soon as we enter the next year, this year we had with Jovi is gone. We will be in an entirely different year and she won't be there. Because 2012 is the year Jovi arrived, I love it. While this has all been so entirely difficult on us and while we have days we wonder how we can survive without our baby, we'd still do it all over again for the same (or even less) amount of time with her. So, here's to 2012... for bringing me the sweetest baby girl and for giving me some of my most favorite and cherished memories.

Jovi baby, I miss you so much. As our Christmas tree is set up in our living room, I can't help but think you should be here crawling over to it and taking off all the ornaments. You should be coming to all the family events. You will not be forgotten this Christmas. I bet Heaven is going to be amazing. I can't imagine what the celebration for Jesus's birthday will be like! I can't believe my sweet girl gets to witness it before I do. I send you kisses every single day and hope you receive all of them. Do you remember that one day Finney threw up? Your daddy handed you over to me and you had an explosive diaper (he didn't know) all the way up your back and all over Daddy's pants? Your daddy and I could only just laugh... and decide who was cleaning what. :) I love you, sunshine, to Heaven and back.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

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