I've been seriously slacking in the blogging world. We put our house on the market back in July. It sold in 5 weeks and we had to be out by the beginning of September. We had originally planned on building, so moved into my parents for a few months waiting for our house to finish. Long story short, builder slacked and we still didn't have permits months later. We ended up putting an offer on an existing house and moved in 4 weeks ago. Phew. That's a lot of what we've been up to the last few months summed up into a short paragraph! *Huge thank you to my parents for letting us invade their quiet (and clean) house. They are lifesavers and we owe them so much thanks!
I know many baby loss mommas asked if I felt sad to "leave" Jovi in the only house she lived and was a part of our family in, and the honest answer- is no. I didn't. That house was filled with wonderful memories. We brought Cash, our first born, home there. We brought Jovi home there. We brought Lila home there. BUT, Jovi died there. And that HUGE disaster day was always there. Lingering... There were times I would open the master bedroom and the thoughts of the day she died would just hit me like a ton of bricks. I could tell you exactly where I gave her CPR and I had to walk by that spot numerous times... day after day after day. While there was so much good, there was also so much bad. The bad always seemed to overtake the good. And I was ready to say goodbye and have a fresh start.
My husband and I have had a rough year. It's something I've thought about blogging about. I go back and forth and may say more but let's just leave it at- we separated for a few months. I always promised I'd be true and honest in this blog, but something about opening up about our relationship this past year seems incredibly hard. Losing a baby is so hard on a marriage. I never thought that we would be troubled by Jovi's loss in our marriage. But, it did. It hit us and hit us hard this year. We went to counseling. We read books and continued to pursue each other and our family. We (obviously) are doing better now as we have made the big leap into purchasing a new home together. We are on the track to being better than ever. But, this was another big thing that I wanted to leave behind. A lot of stress and baggage lived in that house.
Of course, so many emotions came with me but leaving those extra triggers behind has been so relieving. It's like a breath of fresh air. A new start for my sweet little family. I'm so glad that I don't think of the day I opened that door and heard that dreadful alarm every time I go to my bedroom. I don't have to pass the spot where I tried to save my baby's life multiple times a day. I don't have to open my front door and remember passing my baby off to my dad. This is better. This is so much better.
Jovi came with us. I know she's always with me and I know I carry her wherever I go. She didn't just live in that house and we left her behind. We put up her pictures. We have her quilt out. We keep her memory alive in our new house and always in our hearts. She missed so much. I could write an entire blog just about Cash and how he still asks about his sister in Heaven and ponders why she died. Asking things like why did Papa and I have to go to the hospital so fast with Jovi? Just randomly... it's amazing to see what an impact she's left on her brother. Sibling love is strong and I can see it daily in his innocent questions and even sorrow-filled heart as he still can't understand why we can't just bring her back.
Life is different now. I think of her still so much of the day, but a new day doesn't bring me the "I can't breathe my baby died" feeling. I have accepted this life and our life feels normal without her. It doesn't feel right. She's always missed. Something is always missing. But, it does feel like this is my normal now. I see her everywhere. The kids' boots were drying against the wall the other day and I saw the gap where hers should be and it made me cry thinking they should be there. And, also, made me smile knowing she's never forgotten and how my eyes see her and my heart feels her in the smallest of things.
Jovi Sloan- you are such a special girl. You've made me strong and have impacted our entire family in so many ways. Thank you for making me a better person. You continue to light up the world, baby. I love you to Heaven and back.
We are so thankful for God's provision in your family and send our love and prayers as you cozy up in your new home. All our love, Halpin FamilyReplyDelete
Thank you for sharing. We are actually going to put our home on the market in the next month or so. It's good to hear that you were at peace with the move. I worry about it a little. Here is where he died, but it's also where he lived. But I'm the same as you in that the memories of the day he died are still everywhere and that's hard. I'm so sorry about your marriage :( My local SIDS mom friend just talked about that very thing on her blog & how it seems taboo to talk about. Marriage IS hard in general. Marriage is even harder after losing a child. Good for you for not just giving up but seeking help and hope. Prayers that this year will be brighter for you!!ReplyDelete
Yes! I know. It's been rough. It wasn't all because of Jovi but I do think that some choices that were made stemmed from losing a baby. We are better but, man, it's very hard.Delete
I love keeping up on your blog and love to see all your family updates. Even though I've never met you, I think of you and little Link often. Thank you for continuing to follow my life, too. ;)
I'm so happy to see you have a fresh start. I know that Jovi is a big part of your new home!ReplyDelete
Buy Hexen CrystalReplyDelete
HEXEN crystals of the most flawless structure are accessible on our online store available to be purchased also offer our items to singular specialists, stores, and doctors everywhere on the world. A portion of the notable reasons why you should buy from us recorded as beneath:
1. We are the first merchants of HEXEN crystals as we build up the entirety of our items in our lab observing the standard strategies of value and creation. Hexen accessible on our store is of high caliber when contrasted with our rivals.
2. The costs on our foundation are profoundly limited as we put stock in making a decent client as opposed to making a decent deal.
3. We give dispatching administrations to our customers everywhere on the world. We likewise keep the information of our customers free from any danger.
What Sapp: +49 163 4688370
E-mail : firstname.lastname@example.org
Website : https://www.3mmc-online.com/
Motorcycle Transportation LondonReplyDelete
London is where we provide cost-effective motorcycle transportation and collection service, we will collect or drop off any quiet motorbike in London. regardless of if you've got an Aprilia, Hyosung, or Yamaha our firm can easily deliver any quiet motorcycle, Motorcycle London Recovery is additionally covered by insurance and our fees are affordable within the UK. Motorcycle London Recovery cost Motorcycle transportation service offers the simplest deal.
CONTECT US: Unit 32/33 the Business Centre Tariff London, United Kingdom, N17 0YX
Phone : +44800 6226 839 / +4420 7515 9347 / +4420 8216 9909
Whatsapp : +447979855252
Website : https://motorcycle-recovery-london.co.uk/
Professionals who are already working in HR payroll services and want to improve their skill set and broaden their knowledge by keeping themselves updated with the latest income tax, payroll service rules, Contact me.
Tel : +91 9910123091
Fahrzeugbeschriftung selber erstellenReplyDelete
Bei artapix können Sie selbst ein ganzes Fahrzeug beschriften. Werden Sie selbst kreativ und bewerben Sie Ihr Unternehmen auf Ihrem Fahrzeug. Sie setzen Ihre Ideen als Schriftzug auf dem Autofenster, Schriftzug auf Türen, Fenstern oder auf der Motorhaube in die Praxis um. In unserem Konfigurator erstellen Sie selbst Ihren eigenen Klebeschrift (Klebebuchstaben) und sehen sofort, wie Ihr Schriftzug aussieht. Wählen Sie zwischen vielen Schriftarten und Farben oder verwenden Sie Ihre eigene Datei / Ihr eigenes Design, um einen Autoaufkleber zu gestalten. Wenn Sie sich auf den Charakter der Oberfläche Ihrer Karosserie verlassen, erstellen Sie selbst eine Fahrzeugbeschriftung oder lassen sich von einem Liebhaber unterstützen.
top marijuana products onlineReplyDelete
Not so long ago, I made sure that I wanted to try some medicine like marijuana products. I have the top marijuana products online. It can do great work in ancient pain throughout the month, especially when I am on my time.
Contact us: 89 N San Pedro St, San Jose, CA 95110
Phone: +1(530) 255-4702
Att offra vår ena fria dag till Hemstädning är en fantastisk affär för många av oss. Vill du tillbringa din fridfulla tid borta från kontoret att städa ditt hus? Om inte, kan du koppla av och se fram emot en extremt tillfredsställande upplevelse med Hemstädning-tjänsteleverantörerna i Göteborg.ReplyDelete
Nordjouren är en online-vagga som ansluter dig till de bästa professionella tjänsteleverantörerna. De är skickliga i att utföra alla typer av städtjänster i Göteborg. Vare sig det är daglig rengöring i hushållet eller djuprengöringsarbeten, våra experter är utbildade för att ge dig de bästa tjänsterna effektivt.
If you are looking for a Los Angeles Latin band that is high in power while still being sophisticated, relaxed, and professional, then we are the Latin music band for you! We are not the typical, cheap nightclub Latin band Los Angeles and we understand that to create an atmosphere of stylishness while high in energy.ReplyDelete
We want your guests to feel that they have participated in the most memorable, fun, and outstanding event of their lives!
Divorce and other family law matters are often sentimental, times that are hitch to get through. That does not mean that your divorce or child custody issue has to be resolved in a sharp, hostile court battle, though. Having caring and proficient family law attorneys on your side can help to settle the issues amicably and in the best interests of all puzzled. In the event litigation is necessary, your lawyer protects your rights and promotes your best interests.ReplyDelete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
ovation Latin band is a great musical group formed by 25 professionals, together with musicians and vocalists, who work to make each wedding an unforgettable event. In them, the fervor for music is part of their professional card.ReplyDelete
ovation Latin band are customizable and can be adapted to the tastes and preferences of the bride and it also offers a special package for the bride and groom with the following services, among others.